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Today, May 20, 2020, “Spring is bursting out all over.” Outside my windows, fruit trees are in full bloom, chipmunks are multiplying, birds are nesting and grass grows lush.  But, like many Michiganders, I’m sheltering-in-place— and despite an underlying peace and  love for solitude, I’ve moments of helplessness, frustration, emptiness and loss. Part is natural, I want to garden, but I can’t;  I miss family, our planned visits were canceled because of covid-19; I’m grieving for a friend who died last fall and da-da, da -da, da—I’ve lots of reasons for feeling blah. We all do. It’s a relief that Jesus blesses and comforts those who mourn. It’s reassuring to read David’s cries to God for “Help!” and know that this man of God had dry seasons when his heart panted for the Lord.

I’ve been fighting blaming myself for feeling low by reminding myself that “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” I’ve been asking God,  “Show me, please.”   Sometimes a thought comes— “Talk to me about this” or “Read this” or “Call that person.”And sometimes it’s nothing, just a simple,  “Trust me and wait.”

In  trusting  and waiting I identify with these autumn trees. I feel outwardly dormant, resting and bare, not doing much at all. I”ve read that trusting God through our personal helplessness and hunger for more of His presence  produces more fruit in our characters and growth in our spirits than believing in Him when His presence is powerfully satisfying and our lives are outwardly fruitful. I hope so. That’s up to Him and would be for His glory. Regardless of our seasons, His love does not change. Let us learn to trust, hope and appreciate Him through all. As Chekhov wrote,

Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the time when we may pick the fruit.

Anton Chekhov

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• Trees